Two very dimwitted guys make a cross-country road trip to return a large sum of cash to its owner. Along the way they encounter police, kidnappers, & assorted others.

Conjoined twins, Bob and Walt, are happy living their lives together and manage just fine, playing hockey, working at the diner, and cruising for babes, until one decides he wants to be an actor and the other has stage fright and panic attacks.

Rhode Island state trooper Charlie Baileygates proves that nice guys finish first after marrying the prettiest gal in town. But when she leaves him for another man Charlie develops a split personality, and his outrageous opposite, Hank, is born!